Last night, I stopped by the car dealership to pick up the set of floormats and the wheel cover they owed me. There was a huge champagne-wine-and-hors d'oeuvres kickoff party going on for the new Volkswagen Phaeton. The kids grabbed a couple pieces of cheese toast, and I looked for my salesguy. A few minutes later, he drove up in one of the new cars. He asked me if I wanted to take it out for a spin. I was hesitant at first, then I realized that one doesn't get the opportunity to be in control of $89,000 worth of German engineering that often. The kids climbed in back and the salesguy got in the passenger seat, and off we went. All leather interior, lumbar massage while driving, sweet audio system, and all the gadgetry you could imagine, driven by 12 cylinders under the hood. The most amazing thing was hitting the gas and reaching 55 MPH in seconds, all in complete silence. The kids wanted me to buy it, at least until I explained that I could buy them each a convertible slug bug with money left over for gas for the same price as the car we were in. The salesguy pointed out that the car was also worth a couple years of college. I think I'll stick with the Passat for now.