Satan’s iPod

Lately, I seem to be hearing a lot of songs that grate on my nerves. I mean, really grate on my nerves. They seem to pop up all over the place– radio, TV, in stores, in the car next to me with the nasty subwoofer… but mostly at my health club when I’m working out.
Now, it would seem the simplest thing for me to do would be to put on a set of headphones, but where’s the fun in that? I would much rather gather up some good aggravation and share it with you fine folks.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Satan’s iPod.
The idea is this: these are the songs that The Red One has on his Fire-Engine Red 100 GB iPod (coming soon from Apple), and should you find yourself on The Road to Perdition, these are the tunes that await you.
I’m going to try to stay away from the obvious, such as “Disco Jesus” by Tammy Faye Bakker or Dan Blocker’s “Happy Christmas On The Ponderosa.” Songs like this are already in the capable hands of Jim Nayder and his Annoying Music Show.
And I know I will offend some of you with my tastes. But too bad for you; this is my blog.
So without further delay, let’s browse the first songs on Satan’s iPod:
-“Why Can’t I” by Liz Phair. Okay, I’m as romantic as the next guy. In fact, I would submit that I’m more romantic than the next guy. I can even appreciate the sentiment in the song, but overall it’s so freakin’ lame and repetetive. Liz, stop trying to be Avril Lavigne– we’ve already got one of those and she’s bad enough. And throwing in the “f” word doesn’t make you edgy; it’s just sad. “It’s inevitable…” *cringe*
– “The Picture” by Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock. Keep the sharp objects away when you hear this song. This takes the honor of being the only song more depressing than “Reflections of My Life” by Marmalade, and I actually like that song. I know that country music is stereotyped as being all bummer stuff, but this is almost a country Spinal Tap song.
– “God is a DJ” by Pink. Yeah, Pink, we get it. You’re a rebel. Teachers dated you, your parents hated you. You’re tough. You had a rough life. It must be soooo difficult to figure out where to cash the checks these days. I did like the music to this song the first time I heard it, though, when it was called “Life is a Highway.”
Whew. That felt good.
Watch the blog for more entries.


One comment

  1. I wish I had been in the room when somebody said, “I have a great idea! We’ll get Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock to do a duet!” I would’ve clubbed that guy.
    Is it just me, or does all the in-studio “bonding” on the video look really contrived? “Okay, Sheryl, uh…Kid…put your headphones around your necks and pretend you like each other. C’mon, I only need 20 seconds of footage…”
    Hm. This does feel good. 🙂

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